1. You breathe a sigh of relief when it’s 30 C outside and tell yourself “winter is coming at last…”
2. You know what choitram, debelchoir and al maya have in common – they sell pork.
3. You have a stock of all kinds of alcoholic drinks which you asked your friend to buy in duty free, because you can’t find a 7-11 here which sells those “harram” things.
4. You know where Baracuda is, just in case you run out of your alcoholic drinks from your stock.
5. You have an “alcohol” license.
6. You just called the cab driver “my friend”.
7. You know that when you need something to be done, it’s all “inshallah”.
8. You feel the “manic monday” on a Sunday.
9. You feel the happiest when it’s thursday.
10. Your cousin reminds you not to use your phone in public when you go back to the Philippines because you’ve never been THAT cautious in Dubai.
11. You think black is an appropriate day time, summer wear.
12. You’re not surprised to see people swimming on a beach with everything but their eyes covered.
13. You are used to seeing movies in a movie theater which has the kissing scenes cut. In fact, you have not seen anyone kiss in a movie.
14. A waiter inside a movie theater bringing you your unlimited popcorn and drinks is normal.
15. You practically get/do everything online: banking, airline/hotel booking, movie theater booking, food deliveries, groceries, mail-order brides.. wait. What?
16. You know that the color of your skin or the passport that you’re holding matters when applying for a promotion or a job.
17. You order BEBSI instead of coke and you park your car in the BARKING lot.
18. A rain shower is an epic event that one you shouldn’t miss in Dubai. It rarely happens here and if it does, expect a huge traffic and numerous road accidents. The drivers seem to be so excited to be using their windshield wipers that their car goes out-of-control.
19. You start shaking your head from side to side when you say “yes”
20. You know that getting a driver’s license is harder than to get a car hence, a party is necessary once you get the license. A HUGE one.
21. You think that construction sites are the most normal thing to see all year round.
22. You go into a 5-star hotel lobby just to have coffee.
23. You actually have the right to kick a guy out of a ladies’ area of a bus/metro.
24. You spit out the chewing gum that you have before going inside the metro so you won’t get fined.
25. You expect your sunglasses to steam up when you go outside from an air conditioned area.
26. You can tell where a person is from just by their accents as you’ve heard all the imaginable accents there is in the world here in Dubai.
27. You have no idea what your address is so when a family/friend wants to send you a mail or a package, you tell them not to bother because it’s not worth going to the post office to pick it up yourself or giving them your address which basically consists of building names and landmarks nearby it. (eg: Oud Metha Road near the Oud Metha metro station, same building as Prime Supermarket – these are the exact words that you will utter when talking to a lost food delivery guy). So if your building has no landmarks nearby nor an establishment inside it, you’re screwed.
28. You see Porsche, Lamborghini, Ferrari, Audi, Jaguar on a daily basis that you don’t give those cars a second look anymore to admire it. Not unless it’s covered in gold or swarovski crystals, because those are just a few as of now.
29. You hear yourself saying “why like this?” or “what to do?”
30. You refuse a credit card offer and run from those credit card agents like they have some contagious virus. Also, you have the numbers of the banks saved on your mobile phone so you can screen their calls and not listen to their offers of loans as well. You’ve had too many of those (credit cards and loans) since you arrived in Dubai and you just want to pay off your debt now.
31. The first thing you ask a person you’ve met for the first time is – where are you from? And that is normal.
32. You are so happy to see the moon when the Ramadan is about to end. Finally, you can eat anywhere you want during daylight.
33. Your Facebook friends list consists of more than one Mohammad.
34. You consider your UAE ID card as the most important thing inside your wallet, because the hassle that you went through to get that ID was incredible.
35. You have a photo of the Burj Al Arab or Burj Khalifa as background somewhere in your facebook albums.