To My Sister, On Her Wedding Day.

I attended my sister’s beautiful wedding last month in Maryland. I was supposed to be one of the bridesmaids but I decided against it, anything about formal affairs just isn’t for me. Hate is a strong word but it’s the best description of how I feel about formal affairs – family or not. This is why my own wedding was small and intimate, I can’t handle being the center of attention for a prolonged period of time.

Not being my sister’s bridesmaid doesn’t mean that I love her less, in fact I kind of felt bad that during her wedding nobody gave a speech from her side of the family. Not that I’d get up there, grab the microphone and talk about her with all eyes on me – remember, I’m not a fan of being the center of attention, unlike some people. I’m better at writing, not because I’m a great writer because I’m definitely not – but because I’m able to express myself more on writing without the eyes of anyone on me.

So without further ado, here’s a (written) speech dedicated for my sister on her wedding day.

Ate Rina is the worst sister in the world and I’m not even kidding. She’s the epitome of an evil sister – always scaring the bejesus out of me, playing pranks and making me cry. She’s also extremely creative and imaginative, she can always think of new ways to scare or prank me. She could stay inside our shared cabinet for long periods of time just to be able to scare me when I open it. She’d lock me inside a dark room until I lose my voice screaming her name begging for her to let me out. She even teased me at some point that I was adopted and that my real family is an aeta, the indigenous group of people in the Philippines. As a child, the thought of your real family coming to get you to bring with them back to the mountains where they live will scar you for life. I’ve never understood the evil pleasure that she gets out of making me cry, it was quite hard for me to grasp as a child.

She’s almost a decade older than me (yes, believe me she is) and for quite a long time, she was the youngest in the family until I was born. Instead of being looked after, she now had to look after me – a cuter, prettier and a taller version of herself. (ba dum tsss!) I now understand all the pranks she played on me as a child and the pleasure she gets from making me cry, she was jealous because I stole the attention of everyone from her.

But no matter how much she enjoys making me cry, she does have a soft spot in her heart for me. Growing up in an Asian household, saying that our parents are strict is an understatement. Of course I will sometimes be stubborn as a child and when I’m getting my own dose of the dreaded Asian parents scolding, Ate Rina will cry for and with me. She’ll comfort me and give me the biggest hug as we cry together, those were the rare times when I don’t wish that she’ll leave me alone. I realized then that behind this evil facade, she does have a kind heart.

Ate Rina may annoy you to no end but it’s her very weird way of showing you her affection. The more teasing you get or the more pranks played on you, the more special you are to her. As we grew older wiser, I learned that my sister has the biggest, kindest and the most forgiving heart. She always sees the goodness out of people and will always give her all to anyone who needs it. She’s able to look past through flaws and shortcomings, able to forgive and forget. Her kindness may seem weakness for some people who have taken advantage of her in the past but I think it’s her strength. It takes a strong person to be kind to someone no matter how much pain they have caused her. I think this is something I can try and learn from her because I’m not as forgiving nor as kind.

So it is with my deepest sympathy to my now brother-in-law to deliver this message now that you’ve married my evil sister, don’t think for one second that the teasing and the pranks will stop. She will continue on – she’ll hone her skills and come up with new and improved pranks. She’d probably even try to convince you that you’re adopted and that your identical twin brother is the only real son between the two of you.

When you can’t handle it anymore, please do remember that there is a kind heart somewhere inside her, a heart that will stay with you through thick and thin; a heart that will always be forgiving and kind; and a heart that is worth shouting to the heavens for. It’s my great pleasure to officially welcome you in our family and I hope the craziness of having too many women around you won’t be too much!

Best Wishes and Congratulations to you both! x