Random Musings

Pseudo-Relationships (reposted from LiveJournal account)

June 20, 2008

Note: Blog below is officially reposted and translated in an all-English blog for the non-Tagalog speaking friends Mica and Adler, the two true-blooded DIVAs. Blog was posted originally from my LiveJournal account written in Tagalog/English last August 15, 2006 at 8:24pm. Why the sudden interest on this blog? Mica is in a pseudo-relationship. Wehehehehe.

Read on:

Pseudo-Relationship, hmmm sounds familiar? I suppose many of you might have had this kind of relationship at one point or another, or maybe you are, right now, in this kind of relationship but you’re clueless about it. If you’re single, and you’re in this kind of relationship, well good luck. But if you’re committed and you’re in this kind of relationship with another person, well good for you, I hope your kids will look like monkeys. hehehe. Anyway, here’s what little I know about it:
Etymology: Pseudo-relationship. Pseudo meaning fake, false, pretentious add to it the word “relationship”. Hence, a fake relationship – false, non-existent, in-your-dreams-kind-of-thing.
Definition: You’re in a relationship without its very essence: “commitment”; it’s also a social suicide; a stupidity; a waste of your precious precious time.

Symptoms:

1. You are seeing somebody/communicating with somebody regularly.

2. When you’re together, you do what regular couples do. (eg. kissing, holding hands while walking, hugs, the whole PDA enchilada)

3. You feel unexplainably good everytime you’re with that somebody.

4. You think about that person every night (with or without obscenities) and day.

5. You’re having a hard time fighting the urge of texting/calling/sending emails/chatting with that person.

6. You are regularly in a dazed state of daydreaming about that person.

7. You regularly check that person’s Friendster/Myspace/Facebook/Hi5/Multiply and all the network accounts to see if he/she has new pictures uploaded (you’d like to know if he/she got his/her arms wrapped around with somebody on that picture), to see if he/she got new testimonnials (you’d like to know if that testimonial came from somebody who might be a competition) and to check his/her list of friends if any of them got a very familiar name (say….. an ex?).

If you find yourself nodding in any three of these symptoms, well friend am so sorry but unfortunately you are in this kind of relationship. Why unfortunate? Read on.
Pro’s and Con’s of being in such relationship:

Pro’s:

1. You have no commitment with that person, so you can date around. New guy asking you out? Go ahead!!! You hold no c0ommitment whatsoever with this pseudo-person.

2. There’s no anniversary to celebrate. So less expenses. haha!

3. You have somebody to flirt with everytime you feel like it. It’s more of like a flirt-buddy.
Con’s

1. YOU DO NOT HAVE COMMITMENT WITH THAT SOMEBODY.

2. You cannot or rather MUST not show extra care, sweetness nor concern with that somebody.

3. You MUST not feel jealous everytime that person talks about another flirt-buddy, though your heart is quietly crushing inside you.

4. You have no right whatsoever to demand something from that peson. (eg. spend the night with you, take you in a concert, pick you up to/from work, bla bla bla)

5. You can’t be too sweet when that person’s friends/family is around, of course you don’t want to look like a fool in front of them specially if they know the real deal between the two of you.

6. You cannot by all means be hurt if you found out that that person is involved in a REAL relationship with somebody else.

7. Lastly, if he is in fact in involved in a REAL relationship, you MUST REMAIN FRIENDS. You must not show the devastation and grief that you suffer every night. You must keep your cool and compose yourself and say; I AM HAPPY FOR YOU.
So what’s the cure? What should you do if you are in this kind of relationship? Follow these simple yet effective instructions:

Step 1: Find a very tall building. Try RCBC Tower in Ayala Avenue.

Step 2: Climb up to the highest floor or for even better result, the rooftop is recommendable.

Step 3: Jump off and die.

Step 4: Haunt that flirt-buddy of yours and scare him/her to death.
Hmmmm…… You can also try poisoning yourself, or for a more dramatic-death-award-worthy try slitting your wrist while you’re in a tub. You can also write a suicide note with your own blood while you’re at it.

Anyway, for a less psychotic way of dealing with it. Hmmmm…… honestly, I don’t know. ‘coz am one of you…. sad…. sad…. sad…..

* sniff * sniff *

—–

So, after reposting the blog and re-reading it, I got goosebumps. I think am in a pseudo-relationship as well at this point in time. Hahaha. Well, it was a blog written 2 years back and still, the situation hasn’t changed even if am miles way from home. Hahahaha. What can I say? A life without complications is not mine, I yearn for a complicated life. Nyahahahaha.

P.S. If you think this is about you, it’s probably not. So don’t go stroking your ego just yet, you can ask me who am talking about and I shall answer. Hehehe.

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No Comments

  • Reply keighcee September 7, 2009 at 11:06

    i’m in..i’m into it right now..no strings attached, no commitments.. not just friends but not quite lovers..you will always be uncertain about your role in his life..try reading the book ‘he’s not that into you’, it will help, i guess..

  • Reply auline08 July 22, 2009 at 08:14

    hi…i have this kind of relationship before and as expected it didn’t work….But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi. Buti sanakung pseudo-pain din lang ang
    mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain.

    Good Luck na lang for those in this kind of relationship nowadays…:-)

  • Reply Cylinder April 29, 2009 at 17:23

    I belong…… Let us just enjoy every moment that we cherish with our partner. Paki naman ng ibang tao kung parang kayo nga pero hindi naman talaga…..Basta for me, go ako sa pseudo!

  • Reply byter March 16, 2009 at 04:28

    I have this kind of relationship right now, yung tipo ng relationship na just you and me but there’s no us. Exclusively for each other but there’s no commitment. Parang ang gulo… but i right not, i just can’t let him go. Yet…

  • Reply galatea234 March 8, 2009 at 04:44

    hello evah, you’re in a real relationship and also in a pseudo one? wow!!!! how can you manage to juggle your time between the two? well, i guess the pseudo one matters most? otherwise, you won’t get yourself into it? :p

    as for you annah, am not saying that everything is a home-wrecked ending, malay mo. ikaw pala ang magtatayo ng bandera ng pseudo-girlfriends??? haha! let us know how your story goes.

  • Reply annah March 6, 2009 at 19:03

    hi..
    just asking i think iM in..im one of you guys..
    those kind of relationship isnt it really workiNg?
    i mean,wla bang ng work sa pseudo relationship?
    yung tipong happy ending naman?

  • Reply eevah March 4, 2009 at 17:02

    my best friend mentionen to me this pseudo relationship.. we’ll i would say we both are into this relationship… however we are happy..reality i have a real relationship as well as my pseudo b.f… and both of our real ones are distant from us… goshhh…. its a mind-wrecking…

  • Reply malen February 19, 2009 at 18:25

    cant say anything.. GOODLUCK ..

  • Reply galatea234 August 11, 2008 at 19:26

    hmmm…. goodluck. heheehe

  • Reply maycie August 11, 2008 at 03:37

    grabe.. im into this relationship right now.. yet im happy..

  • Reply galatea234 July 11, 2008 at 16:55

    HAHA! same here, hindi uso. pattern lang talaga natin yan. hahaha

  • Reply gaiLie July 11, 2008 at 16:26

    noemi! i can relate with this! been in this kind of situation before and now i think i’m back in this kind of relationship. uso ata ito!

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