Note: Blog below is officially reposted and translated in an all-English blog for the non-Tagalog speaking friends Mica and Adler, the two true-blooded DIVAs. Blog was posted originally from my LiveJournal account written in Tagalog/English last August 15, 2006 at 8:24pm. Why the sudden interest on this blog? Mica is in a pseudo-relationship. Wehehehehe.
Pseudo-Relationship, hmmm sounds familiar? I suppose many of you might have had this kind of relationship at one point or another, or maybe you are, right now, in this kind of relationship but you’re clueless about it. If you’re single, and you’re in this kind of relationship, well good luck. But if you’re committed and you’re in this kind of relationship with another person, well good for you, I hope your kids will look like monkeys. hehehe. Anyway, here’s what little I know about it:
Etymology: Pseudo-relationship. Pseudo meaning fake, false, pretentious add to it the word “relationship”. Hence, a fake relationship – false, non-existent, in-your-dreams-kind-of-thing.
Definition: You’re in a relationship without its very essence: “commitment”; it’s also a social suicide; a stupidity; a waste of your precious precious time.
1. You are seeing somebody/communicating with somebody regularly.
2. When you’re together, you do what regular couples do. (eg. kissing, holding hands while walking, hugs, the whole PDA enchilada)
3. You feel unexplainably good everytime you’re with that somebody.
4. You think about that person every night (with or without obscenities) and day.
5. You’re having a hard time fighting the urge of texting/calling/sending emails/chatting with that person.
6. You are regularly in a dazed state of daydreaming about that person.
7. You regularly check that person’s Friendster/Myspace/Facebook/Hi5/Multiply and all the network accounts to see if he/she has new pictures uploaded (you’d like to know if he/she got his/her arms wrapped around with somebody on that picture), to see if he/she got new testimonnials (you’d like to know if that testimonial came from somebody who might be a competition) and to check his/her list of friends if any of them got a very familiar name (say….. an ex?).
If you find yourself nodding in any three of these symptoms, well friend am so sorry but unfortunately you are in this kind of relationship. Why unfortunate? Read on.
Pro’s and Con’s of being in such relationship:
1. You have no commitment with that person, so you can date around. New guy asking you out? Go ahead!!! You hold no c0ommitment whatsoever with this pseudo-person.
2. There’s no anniversary to celebrate. So less expenses. haha!
3. You have somebody to flirt with everytime you feel like it. It’s more of like a flirt-buddy.
1. YOU DO NOT HAVE COMMITMENT WITH THAT SOMEBODY.
2. You cannot or rather MUST not show extra care, sweetness nor concern with that somebody.
3. You MUST not feel jealous everytime that person talks about another flirt-buddy, though your heart is quietly crushing inside you.
4. You have no right whatsoever to demand something from that peson. (eg. spend the night with you, take you in a concert, pick you up to/from work, bla bla bla)
5. You can’t be too sweet when that person’s friends/family is around, of course you don’t want to look like a fool in front of them specially if they know the real deal between the two of you.
6. You cannot by all means be hurt if you found out that that person is involved in a REAL relationship with somebody else.
7. Lastly, if he is in fact in involved in a REAL relationship, you MUST REMAIN FRIENDS. You must not show the devastation and grief that you suffer every night. You must keep your cool and compose yourself and say; I AM HAPPY FOR YOU.
So what’s the cure? What should you do if you are in this kind of relationship? Follow these simple yet effective instructions:
Step 1: Find a very tall building. Try RCBC Tower in Ayala Avenue.
Step 2: Climb up to the highest floor or for even better result, the rooftop is recommendable.
Step 3: Jump off and die.
Step 4: Haunt that flirt-buddy of yours and scare him/her to death.
Hmmmm…… You can also try poisoning yourself, or for a more dramatic-death-award-worthy try slitting your wrist while you’re in a tub. You can also write a suicide note with your own blood while you’re at it.
Anyway, for a less psychotic way of dealing with it. Hmmmm…… honestly, I don’t know. ‘coz am one of you…. sad…. sad…. sad…..
* sniff * sniff *
So, after reposting the blog and re-reading it, I got goosebumps. I think am in a pseudo-relationship as well at this point in time. Hahaha. Well, it was a blog written 2 years back and still, the situation hasn’t changed even if am miles way from home. Hahahaha. What can I say? A life without complications is not mine, I yearn for a complicated life. Nyahahahaha.
P.S. If you think this is about you, it’s probably not. So don’t go stroking your ego just yet, you can ask me who am talking about and I shall answer. Hehehe.