Random Musings

My most personal blog to date.

August 1, 2007

“You never know what you’ve got ’till you lose it” though at times, we do know what we’ve got but we’re just such a moron to think that we will never lose it. I was once a moron, we all were, but mind you , this isn’t about my love-hate-relationship with love. Rather, this is about the most important people in our lives – our family, who we usually take for granted. We think that they will always be around, we think that they will always be there – at your arm’s reach. My mom left to work where the grass is greener when I was just 8, soon after, my sisters followed. I was too young then to understand the consequences, to understand the situation, to understand what was going on. Nevertheless, I maintained a very healthy and close relationship with them, though we’re miles apart. Snail mails, phone calls, postcards and email helped a lot to maintain that closeness. But that, I think is more painful. Knowing that somewhere the person that you’re dying to be with is, just like you, also hopeful to be with you.

Last month, that longing was somehow filled. My sisters came home, both of them. It’s so hard to believe that they were really here with me. Time were spent wisely – laughter, stories, shopping, hugs and kisses – everything and anything to fill the void we felt for not being able to spend the last 15 years together. I became once again the princess that I once was when we were young, being the youngest the only task I’m very good at is to slack around while watching them clean the house, wash the dishes, cook meals etc. etc. I missed being scolded by my eldest ate for not doing anything around the house. I missed my ate rina’s constant bickering and teasing on me, which made me cry when I was still young.  All the things that I missed about them were finally experienced again – and more. My drinking abilities became the topic when we had our very first “inuman sessions” :), now that we’re all old enough – drinking alcohol is no longer forbidden. I was always the center of attention when we’re all preparing to go out – ate Nancy fixing my hair while ate Rina’s putting make up on me. I felt like I’m going to compete in a beauty pageant everytime we go out. And of course, the shopping. There’s nothing more enjoyable than spending someone else’s money for your clothes. They became my personal fashion advisers, what to buy, what to wear, what looks good on me and the best part of it all – they’ll gladly pay for everything. :p

But all good things are bound to last and I was deathly afraid of that time when they have to leave again. Back to reality once more. Every night since they arrived, I’ve been thinking about it – can’t help but cry for I know that this will come to an end – VERY soon. But that didn’t refrain me from enjoying every single second of it, am just thankful that even for a short time my prayers were granted.

There’s a big difference when you’re the one leaving from when you’re the one being left behind. Morning of July 12 – I was the one left behind, once again. But in a very different state compared to the first time they left me. This time, I didn’t take them for granted for I knew now how important they are in my life. Time were all well spent, words were spoken, hugs and kisses were done, love was clearly felt – it was a remarkable two weeks for me. REMARKABLE.

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