ordinary night…. legs propped up against the wall to relax the now very very stressed out legs from the hasted warm ups, trainings, rehearsals…. bla bla bla. reading a book when suddenly, the phone rang.
Soy un hombre muy honrado,
Que me gusta lo mejor
Las mujeres no me faltan,
Ni el dinero, ni el amor
The voice of Antonio Banderas singing the song above reverberated in my room…. grabbed the phone and as soon as i saw the name blinking on the screen i gawked… “how can he be calling me now?”. myriad of thoughts ran thru my mind, memories from before came back to me like a thud, questions unanswered, secrets revealed, painful memories.
he was one of quite a handful who made me happy, sad, crazy, hurt – all at the same time. i was happy during those times. that’s me, always thinking of the “NOW”, the euphoric stage that i can feel at the moment. nevermind that it will be as much hurt that i will feel later on, what’s important is that am happy at that exact time/place when am with him. i am crazy – who isn’t? known to be the laugh now, cry later kind of girl. then he was gone, just like that. never heard from again. the dilemmas that i have to face. ironically, it was just one night of crying, tears dried on their own (as per amy winehouse :p). but it was a gruesome time for me for the following days. but still, i was able to put it all behind me…
so now…….. just as every part of me is all ok, very ok – his name is blinking on my phone… just when am all alright and fine..
to prove that am not a massochist as what my friends have told me, i just stared on the phone as antonio banderas sang the last notes of el mariachi….
Ay, ay, ay, ay
Ay, ay mi amor
Ay mi morena,
De mi corazon