Well noone can beat mine. I had to learn my lesson in the hardest (and most expensive) way possible today and I can’t blame anyone else because it really is ENTIRELY my fault. The thing about me is, I’d be the hardest to convince to admit a mistake which I never did but the easiest person to admit it if it truly was MY mistake as I raise my hand while jumping up and down. What happened earlier was I just got fed up and wanted to get the easiest way out without dragging so many people along with me. I had two options: the easy way which would cost me a LOT (yes I’m talking money here) or the hard way – which I wouldn’t have really mind at all IF and only IF I’m the only one who will have to face the consequence of my actions. But the thing is, I’m dragging the whole team along with me if I take the second option (specially the supervisor who’s getting a lot of hammering already for my sake). So earlier this day, I’ve accepted defeat and gave in. I can’t deal with all these hoobalous anymore.
I stayed back at the office for a few more hours just to get this thing over with. I was exhausted, I was depressed and I was tired. When a colleague of mine noticed that I’m still in the office and checked if everything was alright with me (I rarely spend time at work after office hours) I told him the story of what happened to me earlier this day. And do you know that genuine concern you feel just as someone looked straight in your eyes with concern and pity without saying anything at all? That’s what I got from him and I can’t help but wonder that you’d really be surprised with all the people around you. Those people who you least expect to be nice and give a damn about you will suddenly be both and will take you by surprise. Maybe I was desperate? So desperate that I’m taking things way too dramatic? Or maybe I really am right that I have underestimated this person? He asked me if I want him to speak to the person involved to get me out of that situation but I’d rather not put him in the limelight too so I declined and told him that everything is fine. Work sucked the life out of me and I’ll just have to add this day to my experiences. He offered to take me home along with another colleague as I was finishing up anyway when he approached me. As I bid farewell, he told me that if I ever change my mind and would need his help about this thing just tell him and he’ll do it instantly. I sensed that he’s not just saying all these things to make me feel better but he really means it. So I got home feeling like someone carried half of the burden that I was carrying this whole day, knowing that someone out there would be willing to go through all the troubles for me is just way too superb for me right now. Maybe I have been underestimating people around me all along?
Anyway, the whole ordeal for today made me think if I really am THIS stupid (work-wise)? Or maybe I’m taking everything way to seriously? Well one thing’s for sure, I AM TIRED!
Life is hard and then you die! But if you’re lucky, you’ll get to meet genuine people along the way who’ll make the journey a bit easier to tackle.