I’ve had the worst week ever. so bad that am ready to shoot anyone who dares to piss me off. i’ve been having big and i mean BIG arguments with one of the managers. for all those people who knows me well, am the type of person who will never ever allow anyone to belittle my race, my family and myself specially with how i do my job. i will definitely talk back no matter who you are and no matter what position you’re holding. nobody has a right to walk over other people just because “you can”. am just being my usual frustrated-lawyer self who believes in equality of everyone.
anyhow, the whole week was just so bad so when i finally got a call from alex straight from switzerland, i rambled on and on and on about it. to which he painstakingly listened to everything that i had to say, agreeing with me in just about everything (he’s biased haha! such a good friend.) but after my rambling he said something which somehow slapped me awake and made me realize that am just being a selfish brat – “be thankful that you have a manager to argue with, it means you got a job during this time when everybody else are losing it”. was not able to speak after that ‘coz he’s right. am just being a selfish little brat who only thinks of myself, not really realizing that some people are going through a tougher time than me.
i remembered one passenger i had yesterday who was asking for a one way fare going to manila, he told me that he lost his job and his company won’t let him transfer to a new company till he’s able to pay for the loan he got for himself. it has been 3months since he lost his job and been living from the contributions his friends were giving him – food, money to pay the loan and good that his friend’s nice enough to let him stay in her flat without paying for the rent. i was feeling sorry for him then he told me that his case was not yet the worst. his colleague who was working for the same company he worked for is now homeless, his things outside the hallway of their building since his landlord kicked him out for not being able to pay the rent plus his mother had a severe stroke and is at the brink of dying. bet noone can top that one off. he also told me that some people are being held at the airport because they’re blacklisted to exit the UAE since there are credit cards/loans unpaid. i felt terrible and i hated myself for being selfish. felt ashamed that am being ignorant from what’s happening around me. am too focused on myself that i fail to recognize that some people would probably be needing the money that i spent for shopping/clubbing into something more worth of spending it to – a dying mother in the philippines perhaps.
there are so many things in my life that i should be thankful for, yet i tend to be blundered by the worldly things around me that i never recognize all the blessings that i’ve been receiving. so this is me taking the time to thank the things/people that i have….
1. am thankful that i have a job. not only just a job but something which may probably be “the” job for others. i know, coz i once dreamt of working for this company too. now that i’ve realized that dream, am taking it for granted. i never really had a tough time getting this job, luck was on my side. but i should know that even if i did not work hard to get this position, it may be taken away from me anytime. so…. am thankful that i have a job which still gives me the security that for the next month, i’ll be receiving a paycheck.
2. am thankful that am not the breadwinner of my family – they really don’t depend on me. i have less responsibility to send them a part of my salary, i sometimes doesn’t even. if i think about it really hard, i am the one who’s dependent to them financially. i know that with just one phone call, i can call my mom in the US or my aunt in the philippines if ever i need help financially and they will be able to give it to me right away. i am living a carefree life here in dubai because i know i have someone to fall back-on if my carefree attitude drives me to a dead-ended road. and that’s not really being a responsible adult. i am sorry and thankful that my family puts up with my irresponsible behavior. what happens to me then if they’re not around? i might have suffered terribly with that throat infection if not for my mom who paid for my hospital bills here in the Dubai and if not for my aunt who paid for my surgery in the philippines. i am never neglected as a daughter. but i think i am neglecting the fact that i am taking them for granted. for that i am so sorry. i will have to start living a more responsible life, thinking of my future… not just the day i have for now.
3. am thankful that i have friends who am very confident that they will be there for me when i need them the most. i am grateful that i’ve earned such good friends who i can really count on in times of dire needs. they are one of the reason why am surviving each day of my life here, i know that whatever happens to me – they will be here for me.
4. am thankful that my family, friends and myself are in good health. may not be perfect, but they’re all in good shape.
5. am thankful that i still get to satisfy my cravings for sushi, peking duck, shisha, chilli’s nachos, marry browns, pad thais and all the food that i eat just because i feel like it – when some people around me could not eat anything but bread with cheese for the whole day. again, i am ashamed of my own skin that i am this selfish.
there are lots of things that i should be thankful for, which am most probably taking for granted and forgetting to write it down now. am not proud of that and should not even be saying that, but realizing something that i’ve been doing wrong is probably enough for me to change my ways. and i will…. starting now….
lastly, i feel for all those people who have lost their jobs….. 🙁